The .t.urn. Drunk Tauniaia

Im coming back people... so WATCH OUT! Yes, its just minutes past 6:30 a.m. and I m. Drunk taunia. Welcome to my show. Just imagine how actually helarious E A Poe's life might have been up to his horrendous death. He was a drunk of a different kind, possibly due to a brain tumor. He was wearing old mismatched clothing. He was poor and destitute.... A thing to be punished for. Impuities of the products and excretions from industrialization to produce such quietly hostile pruducts for consumption destroys Poe's system. Or perhaps he was born with such deformities that did not adapt to the new pollutions... But, the corporate mantra is soldier on.

Like Jewish

I was talking to a friend, telling him all about how this sahopping app ripped me off and that rental property ripped me off and the state and county short change me on benefits and how they nickel and dime you at the doctors office and keep you alive artificially just to weasle insurance benefits out of your healthcare plan for their shareholder meetings... and he turns and smiles, "What, are you like Jewish or something? Because all I hear is someone complaining non stop about being the chosen. What exactly did you think you were chosen for again?" It's gotta be suffering. "Uh, yeah. It's time to acccept it and move on." "Is it? That would be apocolyptic."

Love And other kinks

My Dad use to sing to me when I was a babe...into his hairbrush...before karaoke. I realized what he meant when he would gaze dreamingly at me and sing :Cant take my eyes off of you" Of course, this backfired on him during church sermon on Sundays ... I would not need any introduction or accompaniment ... the speaker may have actually been too boring. Who knows. I would just burst into song.... Forrest justton gooby booby tooby... P bb jay offa oooh Tooby hairz i luf zyu I did not need a choir. I preffered to sing solo, to my Dad as i held his neck , standing on my tip toes directly on his crotch...

Carl’s Adventures: Pringle Man’s Introduction

Ryan n shane

'That's a triumphant dick!' Hang on theres gotta be a pic. Pic of drawing on wall of big dick by grafetti artist Inside the spposedly haunted Penthurst hospital...during a ghost hunt... Leave your rendition in comments...

whats for lunch

Imagine that your a wild animal and from the moment that you wake to the time you fall back to sleep your main goal in life is to find food. That's it. You have no other responsibilities, there is nothing else more important. So that's your life. Now, recognize that you are human living in an advanced society on a plentiful planet and you really only spend a few hours a day thinking, preparing, retreiving or setting food down to eat it. But, it clearly is a resource that if not readily available, attainable and accessible, you would also be on the hunt morning, noon and night. It would soon be something you have to focus on in order to function at all. You might even consider or kill a competitor for it. That's how ugly things could get if we had to. Looking at historical patterns, there might surface some Evidence suggesting that humans resorted to cannibalistic means in dire circumstances. Some theologins might even suggest that child sacrifices happened due to foreseeable failures in food supply. Particular sacrifice involving human mortification was often a resort of the financially or domestically ruined, whom along with their mass victims also sacrifices him or herself out to correct a malfashioned picture. But we are not animals living on the edge of survival coping with scarcity of any nature other than the scarcity that industry sometimes creates fictisciously to obtain control of a revenue stream. I somehow am inclined to think that the pandemic may have been used to amass these streams ... destroy the old and buy up the rest...the buy it or bury it handbook asuddenly appears more obvious now that I'm older. Wiser. Too wise for my own good. In a shithole covered partician buried deep in the heart of the crowded marketplace where temps average about 20 degrees hotter with no ventilation, anywhere in the penisula, a fury beast of a man and a small vendor move down a swollen corrider to one side of a curtain. The vendor lifts the curtain and reveals to the beast a frail naked parcel of a girl lying curled up in a ball on a blanket. She can barely look back before he slips under the curtain and sticks his hard dick into her face, gripping her tightly around the back of the neck. she mutters barely a wimper that suddenly shreiks at the drop of the curtain becoming somewhat louder as a growl....The sound of sucking and moaning. Her jaw becomes over extended. Suddenly sharp teeth appear and the beast is shreiking in pain. There is blood spewing all over her gdostorted facial expressions...Her face is morphed from an innocent girl to a furious demon and only the death of the man who meant to abuse her will satisfy. His bloody dick falls to the ground. She breaths deeply, slowly gaining the strength to stand over the dead beast and pull his shirt off his body and wrap the beast up in the tattered blanket and tie it in a knot. She scutters to the doorway, waiting. Hearing no sound. She slips the tshirt on and peeks out under the blnaket where she sees a quiet, empty corridor. She slips through and moves like a floating vapor down the tight spaces. Her hand brushes against a hanging belt and it drops to the ground, alerting an old woman with a broom. She darts across the corridor into another room and struggles to open a winow before the old woma n arrives. She hears a tustle outside, but she breaks the window and climbs out with her dirty feet and face perspiring and her teeth clinched. She somehow makes it....to the busy street where she suddenly blends in with the heated over crowded activity. She realizes no one sees her, no one caeres, so she turns and runs away from the shacks, as far as her breath and bare feet will take her. fThe writer returns.

OBIT

I want my obituary to say, "We don't know what killed her. She died from an overdose of life. Life killed her..." As it will kill all of us eventually. I hate it that some deaths are pinned to some shameful lifstyle choice and others are deserving of sainthood, like any really have authority to place one over another. All experience death and that is final. STOP Judging or acting like you have a secret passcode to every escape from your permanent exit. Death is not a sin. We all know the numerous ways it can happen. One is by living full on life, no holds barred. Wise or not you will be reaped.

Rewrite

The scene opens to establish a room full of expensive relics. A cold museum. Patrons cirle around a cloaked eisel. They all look up to the icon of challenge as he enters to unveil the artwork under the cloak. He is tall and handsome, with a captivating stare as he speaks of the artwork. "The unviewed work has been hidden under a cavarn for centuries, only ever seen by the artist whom buried it. Most certainly to contain the mystical powers bestowed by many his works. Once it is viewed, it is realized." His potential love interest, Nicole, stands aside to watch his eyes only. He unveils it slowly and views it with disbelieved eyes. The painting illuminates his face. His hand raises up and reveals a blowtorch lighter from under his jacket. "The artist had never shown this work to anyone. I am the only one to feast on this incredible sight. And ... " he flares up the lighter. "I am the only one who ever will." Nicole's glint at the lighter in his hand is turning cautioned as he lifts the flame to the painting. Her breath is taken when she thrusts toward him as the painting begins to burn at it's base. She reacts with sheer force, grabbing one of the many swords mounted on display and strikes down to end his activity. He flings back with the lighter flying out of his hand and she rips off part of her own cloak and furiously throws it on the painting to smother the flames. Well...That's one way to end a budding relationship.

ANGRY SCOTTISH GASBAG

I missed my calling in this life. I think Craig Ferguson walked away with it. It's very possible noone knows anything about me. I am secretive. I let out big whoppers sometimes, but more often then not folks have no idea what I just said. Because its usually some metaphore that describes an event or recollection that they were not a witness to. I speak what I need to and move on. If I finally had a good shIT, I'd say, "well, it was a T-dius job and it was gruelling, but I landed it perfectly." They look confused because I have sucessfully confused them. They think I have good work ethics when in fact, I'm just regular. So no one really sees me as a comic and that's fantastic. Because a comic should never come on like they are trying to make you laugh. It's so not funny. I got this joke, listen to this joke for ya...because Laughter is a very personal matter. Only you can find something funny. No, seriously, think about it. it's your mind that decides, hey, I think this is kinda funny...wait a minute...holy shit ...that's hilarious. Suddenly you are busting and you can't stop, even if you wanted to, it's like sex, once you've gone a certain distance, there is no turning back, your laughing... AAAAAAhhhhhhhhh, ah ha ha ha ahhhh hhahahhahahhhahahh.,.blah blahhhhhhhhh.....aaaaahfhhhhhhhhh. So, I am finding out in my later years that my body likes to trap things, like gas and wax....I know it's very gross and I wish I didn't have to talk about it. I know you don't want to talk about it or hear about it. But tough... That's what it's like. I'm standing there, riding the subway and damn, some silent bomb goes off and I move away like, "Damn Dude", blaming it on whoever's there. I'm like walking as fast as I can to get away from myself, but...you know...I'm a girl, I trip on my own ankles...(fall down), get hit with a wave of my own foul emmissions and hit the deck.

Monkey Wrench Ep3 - Us & Them

those Damn Ambitions~!

Letter to A Friend

tO BE TOTALLY HONEST...this inFURIATes me...they hVE NO PROOF that you hVE ny cancers, theyyu arwe just btryiung to keep you in as a patient willing to be tested....I do n't like it I don't like it at all how theyu are obviously trying to terrorize you back into their revenue needs... Now I know you are probably not a fan of prayer, but have you ever tried it? AND i'M NOT SAYIUNG ASK FOR MIRACLES, CURRENTLY WE DON';T EVEN KNOIW IF THATS NECCESSARY... TALK TO THE INNER YOU, THE SUPER BEING INSIDE YOU THAT SPEAKS TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE WALKING AND LISTENING... BE PATIENT LISTEN TO YOUR BODY GIVE IT WHAT IT CRAVES, SMELL, TASTE, TOUCH, HEAR AND SEE...ANSWERS ARE EVERYWHERE WHEN YOU LOOK WITH A SUPER INTENT HEART sorry ...I just had to say that that is what I know can be done don't doubt yourself your are a beautiful child of God...

WELCOME HOME JULIAN!!!

Julian Assange has finally been released. Bout Bloody Time. Watch youtube video of family press conference.

Look Closely At Your TV Lineup

Do you notice anything special about it? Like, "weren't you just thinking about that subject?" That's funny, I don't remember mentioning it to anyone, writing it down or looking for it. How did Alexa know, what I've been thinking?

EL CORRECAMINOS Y WILE E. COYOTE - ROAD RUNNERS

Es soy esta mucho la vida mio

Tomorrow is Another...What?

Not sure how many times there was oral regergatation during or after a meal I have prepared but speaking of spewing, I do recall the time I tried to add alphalpha sprouts to the family pancakes and what laughter I produced then. then there was the time with my first husband and the shroom and peanutbutter sandwhiches washed down with grape juice. This became inspiring artwork on the bathroom wall when it ignited my gastritis and I threw it all up before diving into a puddle of puppies TO PREVENT HAVING WHAT i THOUGHT FELT LIKE IT MIGHT BE A HEART ATTACK. No, I later went to bed with my husband and he held me down all night while I kicked, screamed and farted, in that order, repeTEADLY, ALL NIGHT LONG. tHEN THERE WAS THE INFAMOUS homemade granola bars I attempted to make for my friends when they came over. The minute they reached our bellies, there were four people trying to crap or throw up in our tiny little bathroom. College, eat your heart out. I nearly killed us all with a recipe of nothing but sweeteners, syrups and sugars with a little oatmeal tossed in.

Pin Dodging

I do want to make it perfectly clear. Is there such a thing as medical harrassment or coersive behavior going on inside your clinic? Could be. With hours of repeated prompts from airwaves and radio waves and now even echo waves, they tell you to see your doctor for everything. Get the most up to date drugs and treatment plans, vaCCINES....gO TO YOUR DOCTOR... GET A SHOT UP YOUR TWAT to prevent a cancer you might never get anyway. They really don't do enough researCH ON YOUR BODY before deducing whether or not you can tolerate it. iT'S only after you've signed a release and allowed them to use your body as a test ground. If a side effect flares up a few weeks later and you happen to gloss over it without knowing, thAT effect doesn't get noted in the data and the drug goes on disturbing OTHER prospective pATIENTS. Not to worry, I won't be taking any new fangled drugs now anyway, and luckily, I've managed without the only prescribed drug I had started nearly five years ago, by indirectly haulting it with my refusal to go to the clinic every 6 months and give blood. Now thAT MEDICAID has managed to pull my order for electronic scooter for added mobility assistance I can honestly say that is the last blood they will ever get from me. Gerard, from Nortel, woke me up from a dead sleep to deliver the bad news. He made it very clear that I would not be issued a scooter without my agreeing to physical therapy sessions for four the six months. How ridiculous. This is not a recent work injury, nor is there any chance of activating atrophied muscle tissue. It really sounds like they are the ones trying to scam Medicaid or medicare out of funds for their own revenue purposes and not my immediate mobility issues. And, they seem to have made it easier to do since clovis. I may definently have dodged a bullet here. The first thing they demaND THAT you do is be ready by the phone, for whomever and whenever they call. They demand this. I had someone named Victoria from VNA call me with strict instructions that i SHOULD be READY AND ABLE TO ANSWER THE PHONE at any time. This is surely an unusual request of an elderly, disabled woman. And while they claim to be diligently respectcful, I did not feel that from them. As a matter of fact, a few times I was in contact with DCFS about SNAP benefits, they were in fact quite rude with their demands, threatening to pull these benefits if certain actions were not performed abrubtly and efficiently. Now expecting that of humans is harsh, to say the least. And to shout out orders over the phone seems unpleasant and alarming. So they have got me pinned to a phone...I remember my narcissist husband used to try and do the same thing to me, untill I realized he was just constantly trying to keep tabs on me because he was the insecure one. They want me to download their app, which is even more annoying, because it's sucking up power off my phone. So I refused that too, which I'm sure has to do with their declining me the chair. Almost every business wants you to download their app these days, no wonder there is never enough power, or charging up. This should alarm people too, they are the ones payin the higher electronic usage.

complain to whom?

FTER ALL, THEY WANT ME TO WQORK TO PROVE MY DISABILITY STatus? go to a liscensed therapist to see if you need the electric scooter you have been relying on for the past five years? no, I ll just get another one sit up in my room until you forget about me I won't ask for anymore benefits certainly, although I'm eligable I'll leave you to it tht BIG POT OF MONEY YOU HVE PULLEED FROM THE DWINDLING GROUP YOU CALLED THE EMPLOYED SOON ENOUGH IT WILL ONLY INCLUDE YOU AND A BUNCH OF RICKETY ROBOTS THAT's right robots don't pay taXES

NYC in the Seventies dead blue

What an absolute disaster. It was a pig pen then, destructing by the brick. Here is basically what's happened. The U.S. and the State of New York can no longer pay for their city. So it belongs to various other countries in small enough portions that it has become to complicated for tax accessors to follow their internal and external laws within the multiple juristasi. I arrived just after the Iranian hostage crisis had been resolved. I was assisgned to integrate with Ecuardorian Civil Defense Council, Alejandro Salas. I sat through three and half hours of breifing before the interview. It was a crash course in spanish. I would be leaving JFK in 6 hours. I wasn't sure if having already checked out of the Bremmer was a good thing or not. I had to carry my three heavy bags with me whereever I was made to go now, making the arrival at the airport something to look forward to. Salas was there with his panel and staff to present Ecuador's political problems. Issues most heavy were the socialist rivals, the corporate interests from the U.S. with their private loads of cash bribes and the effects to numerous communities creating violent rifts and unexplained arrests and disappearances of thousands of people. Well...as tired as I was, this seemed pretty easily explained. The big private bribes are ruining off small towns and bodies are disappearing to feed the interests of big money. It is something you can talk about til your blue in the face and eventually you just end up dead blue. I cleared my throat and shook his hand and we both smiled within the quiet of a private alcove. the interview was thankfully short. "So, are you sure you want to go?" "I have to go." "Do you speak spanish?" "No. Not much." He raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "We're going to learn alot from each other."

Flip-A-Coin

Why would I want to remember the worst crime I've ever seen? Why should I think that doctor could save my life? Maybe millions of other people could do that too at one time or another just by asking me to pass the potatoes. Should I also go into debt to my dinner guest for his efforts in saving my life? One went to school on top of schools, took years in specialized training and now must meet the payment of his malpractice insurance to keep his medical practice going. The other only needed to prefer margerine to butter to save my life. He has no idea that he is saving my life. So how is it assured that this under educated man with bad dietary choices and no malpractice debt can do what the doctor could not? Some might call it a freak thing. A wild happenstance. A million to one shot. It may even be a mathimatical anomoly we have not figured out yet, but one thing seems certain... It does happen.

Whathe...?

Just what kind of idiot are you? I yell out, "I am the best kind of idiot there is!"

I Believe

I believe that the earth will just as slowly as it become, will also come to the end of it's life giving force and evolve slowly out of the sun's orbit. That it is the sun's heat that provides for the perfect conditions to bring life to fruition. Any galaxy can have that in it somewhere. I believe that man is the most viscious of animals on the planet while parading around as if he should be worshipped as a prize. That image makers rule with silly slogans dancing on your brain repeatedly throughout the day. The Unites States of America can suck my dick...i throw up my hands. "Exactly, how is it going to do that? I dont have a dick and u's guys cant all suck one dick at the same time. For all that you owe your people you are compelled to give it to someone else. These people are relentless. PAY ATTENTION!!! Whatever you say, THEY ARE LISTENING! Whatever you do, THEY ARE WATCHING! Let out any personal feeling, or speak an ounce about yourself and they put it to the test. I mentioned I am a ticking time bomb and the next thing you know I am physically attacked so they can gauge my reaction. Is it violent, weak, too violent, they want a base measurement and a realistic reaction. If you mention that your dog is your most precious possession, they arrange for a large pitbull to run up on you and your dog to see just how much you meant that statement. How violent or emotional can they make you? Can they frazzle your ribbon, create a rift you suddenly have to surf over... Just stop giving them your personal info. Stop sharing. It isn't about caring after all. It's about robbing you blind while you help them. Stop smiling. Let them know they have not helped, they are not fun or funny and you know how they have harmed you. By violating all of your rights, especially your right to protect yourself, that's the first they intend to irradicate. Fooling you is half the battle. Watch them fall apart when you walk away.